Accepting that you are gone - I still find difficulty doing so.. From time to time, I still find myself sending you an e-mail, flipping my cell phone scrolling for your number - calling to check up on you. Only to find that there will be no response from you waiting on my computer, or your voice at the other end of the phone.
It has been a year since your demise, it has been hard, nights that i have wept, and found it hard to dry my eyes.I know you are in a far better place - and with a bird's eyeview of everything that is going on here on earth. I feel the sun embrace me when you see things that make you happy. I hear the raindrops against my window pane on days when you see things that make you sad. I pray that there will be some normalcy soon. Things have changed - and probably will never be the same since that day - you left and went home. I pray that all will find the strength to cope - and those that are instrumental in making things how they should be - will carry out that task.
I remember your morbid sense of humor. Your corny jokes.... the ones that only you would laugh at - but everyone else laughed because seeing you crack up made them funny. All those practical jokes you played. Your love for life, your warm welcoming spirit - you acceptance for everyone - no matter who they were.. The fact that you didn't hold a grudge - or stay angry at a person for long. Your laughter, still sings in my head.. And your bright smile - it could brighten up a room. When we would loose touch - you would pick up like time hadn't passed. Those among other things keep me going...
You were here for a purpose, and eventhough you are gone and you have done so much, I sometimes feel like your work isn't done. I still feel that you are still busy working on something. You have accomplished so much in such a short time - and made it look easy! You were able to build relationships that have lasted a lifetime. Many that are older are still incapable of doing this. You have taught me valuable lessons that I have applied to my own life: to love life and all that it brings, to cherish every day as if it were my last, and if I want something - to go for it! You have truly left an indelible mark on us all. And the funny thing is, you had no idea - you were just being Kendra.
I know it's wrong to question God's grand plan. But when you loose someone so dear, it's difficult not to. As I find a new norm, I find comfort in knowing that you have left a piece of you here - Zaelyn - she is truly blessed. Her very own Guardian Angel was the one that gave her life! Also, knowing that God has taken a good one to add to his force of angels. As he couldn't have chosen a better candidate.
Kendra, we may have lost you here on earth, but we have gained an angel that will watch over us all.
Rest In Peace Kendra.
You are sorely missed.
I Finally / Aunt Si'Mone (Aunt) Hey Muff;
I finally have bought my self back to your site. I guess, in my mind's eye, avoidance, made the reality less real. But, It's true, you're gone, and as I listen to Zae's laughter, in the background, your presence is - Ooh, so strong!!!
She is so much of you, and us! A Culmination, of Strength, Wit, Tenacity, Perserverance, Intellect and Determination, your independence is prevalent, and your Spirit, is recognized.
God knows Muff, I wish I could hear your voice, on the other end of the phone, asking for directions, tossing around ideas, and debating social commentary... I wish I could hear your jokes, about the uncanniness of Hurricane Katrina and your Aunt Katrina! Girl, I could only wish! I can only miss you!
This past year, there have been so many revelations and much realization, about LIFE, DEATH, FAMILY, SPIRITUALITY and relationships, while our existence and time forges ahead, merely affording us the opportunity to grasp, whatever precious memories we can hold on to!
So many of us Loved you, and you so many of us, so many were affected and influenced by both your life and your death! You were and are one of those "Special" Souls, that we can't let go! Thank you for touching so many Muff! Thank You for your Life, and your Spirit, and thank you and Walter for Zaelyn. She has made the tragedy of losing you, a lot easier to bear.
I miss you and still see you, packing plates, as you leave the party....
Mone
MISSING YOU / Imani Abney (little cousin )
KENDRA IT HAS BEEN HARD WITHOUT U. I MISS HEARING YOU AND YOUR LOKES ABOUT MY AGE ADN HOW WE HAD FUN TOGETHER. I KNOW YOU ARE IN A BETTER PLACE AND YOUR WATCHING OVER US BUT ITS STILL HARD WITH YOU NOT BEING A CALL AWAY. I REMEBER EVERY THING ABOUT YOU AND HOW YOU WAS ALWAYS GIVING ME ADIVE. YOU LEFT zAE BEHIND AND I'M GOING TO MAKE SURE SHE KNOWS RIGHT FROM WRONG. I LOVE U AND WE ALL MISS YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!
Kendra's Calling / Jennifer Schumpert (Best Friend ) Its been a minute since I've decided to write a tribute. I guess, I just enjoyed sitting back and reading all the wonderful things that people have to say about you. WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT?! That your death would have affected so many people in a positive way. It's amazing! Your passing has made people really look at themselves for who they really are, and attempt to make life altering adjustments in their lives. Your passing has brought many people closer together with their families (especially me), realizing that its always important to say, "I Love You." Your passing has made ME get my life together, not only for me, but for Zaelyn, so I can be the godmommy you would expect me to be to her, with a sound mind and spirit. I will always keep my word to you in regards to Zae, despite the tests and trials Satan will bring forth. Your passing has removed blinders from the eyes of many, and people have been reconciled through our Lord Jesus Christ back to the Everlasting father. And although WE MISS YOU like crazy down here, and my eyes well up with tears... I can't help but to think that maybe our All-Knowing father in Heaven, somewhat "Counted the Cost" when letting you leave this earth realm. I know that he knew that although you've affected many here during your short stay on earth, that you would continue to affect individuals, and many more in the spirtual realm...
Everyone is "called" in this earth...not just the pastors, teachers, evangelists, etc. Nevertheless, it takes a relationship and a fellowship with Jesus to identify your true calling. When you passed, you were in the middle of developing that relationship w/ Christ even more, and walking in your calling. I truly believe, you were called to inspire, encourage, humor, and love up on people. And that's Awesome Muff! There are many people who don't even realize their calling here on this earth and you've always walked in it, and did it in class, tact, professionalism, and style.
I'm going to end this tribute, with a Thank You. Muffy, when I needed to be pushed academically, and professionally beyond my comfort zone you were there. During my nasty attitude moments, you ignored me, made me laugh at you, and continued to be there. Through the broken hearts and the teenage, young adult drama, we were there for each other. When I cried, you wiped the tears, made a joke so I could laugh, and was there. Even when I needed a perm or roller set, or pedicure...you were there! I'm sure many can attest to that. lol Can I get an Amen?! When I needed to look fly in HS, you let me borrow from your Kenny Ray collection lol...again you were there! Let's keep it real, when I needed a fake ID to party w/ you and Cicely in HS you were there! lol WE ALL can say that during some of our wild, crazy, sentimental, serious, and precious, moments you were there...walking in your calling to inspire, encourage, humor, and love up on Us....so through the tears, we may smile.
Love Y'all jschumpert@comcast.net
A Year Later / Nycole Shealy (Cousin from Cali ) Gosh Muff, One year ago I got the worst news of my life. I have struggled during this year to come to terms with what September 6, 2004 means to me. Really I am still struggling with it. I would come on your memorial site and read some of the wonderful things that everyone has to say about you and think to myself 'How can I sum into words what Muff Muff meant to me? I cant!!!' It made me feel even worse about not coming to see you more like we would talk about, and not checking my messages right away to call you back in a timely manner. But in this year I have come to realize that we all handle situations differently, and I can not take back the past. Not only that but in my own time I would be able to put in words exactly how I feel. I dont know if its time yet, this is attempt number one, and I'm sure you can see all of the times I am deleting whole sentences to change the wording, but just charge it to my mind and not my heart. Your life has truly taught me to cherish all of my relationships, to not worry about the petty stuff because God only knows when He wants us, we dont know when we will be called home. Not to say that I didnt cherish our relationship, but more to say that I can not get angry about what I can not control, and that is the past. I am truly proud to say that the memories that I have of you are all good, even the only time I ever got mad at you, because that same day you made me feel that I was so petty to be mad at you. LOL!!!! That was your beauty. And thats the Muff that I always knew and will always remember. When I first met you you were in high school and I was in college, but your aura and presence made me feel as though I was the one in high school and you were in college. You were definitely wise beyond your years. I wont continue on reminiscing about the past because I am already crying as I type this I realize that its making the tears flow a lot harder. Instead I will just say that I am truly blessed beyond words to have met such a beautiful young lady, and although I wish that last year didnt happen, because of last year you have taught me so much about life, what it means and how to live it. For that I say THANK YOU!!!! I am sorry that it took a whole year for me to attempt to begin to put in words how I feel, but you know that I internalize my feelings and try to deal with them myself. Love is all I ever had for you, and continue to have for you!!!! See you soon cousin!!
To your family. Know that you raised a beautiful young lady (beautiful inside and out), who, although her life was cut very short, accomplished so much in her life, much more than I can say that I accomplished, and I am older than she. I only hope to have half the character, determination, and spirit (amongst other things) that Muff had. She is a star that will shine for many years to come.
Sleepless Nights / Rashida Humphrey-Wall (Partner in crime ) This is just one of my sleepless nights, I lay awake at night sometimes waiting for you to visit or send me a sign to make some sense of why you were taken away the way that you were. I have been so anxious and emotionally all over the place leading to this night which is now morning. It has been a year and I it hurts just the same. It frustrates me that I am so far away from the family and that I can't do anything to bring you back. I am trying so hard to find some sort of peace in all this but it is so hard. Everyday I thank God for waking me up and I ask him how can I ease this pain. It is like a void I can't fill and it angers me. I am at a loss for words, but I just want to say I love all of you and give some love to Zae for me.
THINKING OF YOU / Nickole (sister)
How do I say goodbye to what we had? The goodtimes that made us laugh I thought we see forever but forever's has gone away it's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday
I don't know where this road going to lead all I know is where we've been and what we've been through if we get to see tommorrow I hope it's worth the wait it's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday
I'll take the memories to be my sunshine after the rain It's so hard to say goodbye!
Sis! that's boyz 11 men i think that's all the words I'm suppose to be working but that came across my mind. I Miss You!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
As the Days Go On / Nickole Smith (Sister) As the days go on, I come across moments that I usually share with you, my past about you is a blur my future is so clear, Never once in a million years sis i thought you would leave me like this, but I hear you and i'm trying just watch out for me I got it, you say i move to fast if i slow down i may get caught what should i do sis? I have try that, tell me more it seem like my last day geting to wrap my arms around you in the church last my vision of you is always with me. I just need and want bad than anything to have one of you warm hugs, I hear u the voice and goofy laugh we were to silly together kendra you no that. It was to good to be true to always can walk be side my big sister know you walk with me. I rember after you had zaelyn, we went to have wine together and every since then i start wine tasting, Belive it or not you are the reason i enroll in school but you see i told you it was not for me but i tried, if i never thank you for the experince in phili THANK YOU SIS! and all the other words of love and knowdledge you spoke to your lil sis, that i can't touch you i see an hear you everyday sis I Love For Ever!!!! I still can't believe You. It took all this time to come and say some words on your site i know every when they hav ei been hear i say no i seen i was hurt i could not agree. I' m angry my words can't express my pain. second love one of mine 23 die from a gunshoot wound within 2 years with a baby girl soon to be one what is he telling me.( I'm getting the message in pieces) I feel like a time bomb sis let me go i'm in tears. I'm scared and with out my only big sister and my cousin gone to violence and i'm in the street more, time's change I stay in more. I'll talk more next time i come see you KENDRA I LOVE! MISS YOU and so much more.
Tick Tock Tick That's what goes through my mind everyone screaminng at the same time waiting and watching while time flies by looking at the clock seeing if the doctor will tell us if you was still alive A stray bullet to the head that is what he said
When I looked at you, you was so pretty dead in the hospitals bed Instead of crying out loud I build up my anger inside of me crying out to you as if you was going to say something to me or as if someone was burning or torturing me
Labor day I hate it 9:42 I hate it Time has changed me God wanted his angel to stay with him calling his name while you would pray him he made a decision that changed your family even Zae can't you see
tick tock tick I get crazy I have so much anger in me even though god is crying out to me calling me his soon to be angel soon I will find my godly mission that will take me from this deadly prison
It feels like rain pouring in side of me rain brings pain through my vains weakening the strength that I have left in my body you see its a shame how time has changed it's a differnce because you are not the same
I have changed I have so much to say I have so much to pray for and care for I have learned that I loved you the most when I could'nt hear your voice
tick tock tick time is going slow know it feels like I hear nothing but the audience that's reading this out loud but as i write this my thoughts flows so frequently thinking out loud with added sounds of terrorizing huanting sounds
i realize that it is ok to live life but its a differnce when you dont belive in Christ knowing that things is not going to be the same becasue time has changed time hulks us pain in the past brings acceptance in the future beholds us and it will soon teach us a lesson appreciate the days of the livin and sacrifice your life for lives of christ
Courtney Andrea Evans i love ya..............muffy thinking of you everyday.............
Dear Friend - Missing You / Colette James (Friend/College Roomie)
Dear Friend,
Most days when I awake you are the first thought in my mind and most nights when I lay to sleep you are the last thought that crosses my head.
I remember you constantly because I never want to forget because it feels like if I go a day without remembering it would be like you never were and that to me can never be.
I know I should find peace in the fact that you have gone home and now can rest in eternal peace with the lord, but there are times when it feels like I wake up for the first time to hear that you have passed.
I know we aren't related but I feel like someone took my sister away from me and no matter how much I shelter into the memories it can never give me peace.
I find myself like little kids who don't quite understand death asking God to bring you back. Promising to be good, to stray away from sin, to go to church every sunday, to not disrespect my elders and obey my mother, to give up my most favorite thing in the world if only he would bring you back. Erase the moment when you were taken away and reverse time. But I understand death all too well and know those thoughts are iun vain, but i have a hard time dealing with your absence.
I can't help as tears form in my eyes to cry and wish you were here because you were like no other. You cared like no other and you were a FRIEND like no other. You made it so easy to open up to you and even easier to love you. You never hung up the phone without saying I love you and most of all no matter how absentminded I was about returning phone calls you always called and cursed me out and then said love you.
I feel guilt about being so bad about returning calls in a timely manner, about planning trips sooner instead of procrastinating. I think only if I had then at least I would have that one extra memory. But as others remind me when we speak of you I realize that I have enough. I remember when we baked the cake for Raymond for his birthday and it cracked in so many places in the pan. I remember you for first introducing me to peach cobla. I remember having you there to tag along to my "unofficial date with the italian" in college just so I wouldn't be alone and us stepping politely to the side as they went up to pay (lol). I remember you being the only one to know that I liked him despite everything the outsiders thought. I remember our group concerts in the shower with minerva, and yolanda all four of us singing church songs and clapping and ofcourse having getting in trouble with my brother for violating quiet hours. I remember when I got in trouble with Debbie and your grandma and Trina and your Uncle covering up for your weekend getaway . I remember us riding in Ruby (her old red car) and the windshield frosted up on the way to main campus and we had to immediately turn around and shared one little circle in the middle to guide us back. These are the things I remember that when I look back on make me laugh with you in mind.
So my little ardvark, (and I laugh as I call you this remembering when we stayed glued to the tv waiting for author to come on so I can show you the ardvark muffy that you looked like) we had a blast, you came and you passed, but in my thoughts it will never be the last.
Love Always, Colette
P.S. - I miss you
hello/ Kia Darby (classmate at BSH) I am very proud of Jennifer for sponsoring this site and everyone with their kind words. It took a little courage for me to view the website as well. Kendra is an old classmate of mine from Banneker. I remember hearing about her baby shower when i found out that I was pregnant and thought it has been too long since I've seen some of the old Banneker people. We are done with college and are having children and everything! We are really growing up! My mind won't let me understand that God felt she was done with this life, but I know in my heart he needed another angel. And since that is the case, I can live with that. I pray to be with them too some day.
I remember Kendra from the first day of Banneker with her big Precious Moment's eyes, learning that she was a ballerina. My lasting memories are of her in Mr. Maulcahey's English class, sharing notes for the upcoming quiz. I can hear her saying "Hey Kia!" She sat in front of me and would always turn around, flash a smile and say something funny. She always had on some nails and had her ice tea. I wasn't that close to her, but coming from Banneker there is a small sense of family that we carry as it was very few of us.
I hold my little baby a little tighter as i think of her. I also want to say that i enjoyed reading the reoccuring posts from Jennifer and Rashida. It help us to remember her and that a little of her is inside all of us, not something that has gone away. I am truly glad to have known her, the fun-loving, spirited, and i would be remissed if i didn't say CRAZY Kendra,..lol. I know that was something that I would say often when talking to her, "Kendra, you so crazy!" Kia*
Lies (Exposing my Pain) / Courtney Evans (Sister)
Lies are in the true eyes where I despise your negative energy. You mean well, but you bring to hell. Through the life of my life to be. Given me time and space that surrounds Muff's Zae it was all meant to be.
My frustration of your humiliation started me to believe to step up and be strong to tell you 0r ask Muff was it meant to be. I hate waiting it's so frustratng that my family are gathered into pieces.
But gods keeps telling me to live on and be strong. Because well soon see you again. I'm blank with no imagination at how my pain has to be, it's unexplained and it's amiable.
Sometimes, I wish my life would end. The course and the flauses at I never knew which would bring you to a end.
My pain is blending in with fame, everyone wonders if i'm the same. But I
With Thoughts / Jewel Saunders (Classmate (BHS)) Hey Kendra,
It's still hard to believe that you're no longer here with us. I still remember all of the laughs from some of the classes we were in. You were truly the "spark" of the class of 99. No one could be around you without having a smile on their face. I know God is taking care of you and giving you an opportunity to rest because you did SO much for others. You may not be with us physically, but I know you're here spiritually. Your legacy will go on through the life of your beautiful daughter. Until we meet again.
Jewel
These are the hardest... / Jennifer S. (friend 4 life) First holidays, and birthdays I've heard were always the hardest and truly we have been experiencing it all...
i KNOW I AM TODAY...WORDS CAN'T EXPRESS HOW MUCH I MISS THAT GIRL...
HOWEVER:
I wanted to share this word w/ you because it's helped me see things a little different:
Proverbs 15:14 tells us that if we have God's understanding, we can ask Him for the knowledge to overcome every trial and problem we face. God is bigger than our grief, sorrow, pain and every problem that any of us could face. We must never blame Him for our troubles, as the devil is the trouble maker, not our Lord. God is there for us, to help us overcome anything the enemy has done, or is trying to do. God is the one that will rescue us and help us in our hour of need. However, we must not be like the fool who feeds on his folly. This is a person who is continually mouthing his troubles and blaming others, including God, for his circumstances. He feeds on self-pity and rehearses his problems to all who will listen. We must give our heartaches and troubles to God and keep a cheerful attitude no matter what is going on in our lives. We need to remember, "this too, shall pass" as God is eternal and has a good plan for our future.
As Christians, death is the last enemy we face, as we have the assurance that we shall see all of our loved ones who have died in Christ once again. The devil may have snatched them off this earth, but because they belong to God, He snatches them from the devil and takes them home with him. We will be reunited with them. That shall happen when we get to Heaven, or when Christ comes again to this earth and brings them with Him at the resurrection. We are not like those who have no hope. In Christ, our future is full of His promises and we are promised victory over death and the grave!
http://www.bible.com/answers/agrief.html
THIS IS THE REST OF THE ARTICLE IF YOU ARE INTERESTED IN READING IT...
I LOVE Y'ALL....I HOPE THIS HELPED A BIT...
Tributes and Condolences
Add to favorites 
