Just last monday I lost my fiance in a terrible car crash. I was shaken but I have the assurance that She is in heaven singing in God's Choir. God Bless your memory and to the family stay strong God is on your side!
Accepting that you are gone - I still find difficulty doing so.. From time to time, I still find myself sending you an e-mail, flipping my cell phone scrolling for your number - calling to check up on you. Only to find that there will be no response from you waiting on my computer, or your voice at the other end of the phone.
It has been a year since your demise, it has been hard, nights that i have wept, and found it hard to dry my eyes.I know you are in a far better place - and with a bird's eyeview of everything that is going on here on earth. I feel the sun embrace me when you see things that make you happy. I hear the raindrops against my window pane on days when you see things that make you sad. I pray that there will be some normalcy soon. Things have changed - and probably will never be the same since that day - you left and went home. I pray that all will find the strength to cope - and those that are instrumental in making things how they should be - will carry out that task.
I remember your morbid sense of humor. Your corny jokes.... the ones that only you would laugh at - but everyone else laughed because seeing you crack up made them funny. All those practical jokes you played. Your love for life, your warm welcoming spirit - you acceptance for everyone - no matter who they were.. The fact that you didn't hold a grudge - or stay angry at a person for long. Your laughter, still sings in my head.. And your bright smile - it could brighten up a room. When we would loose touch - you would pick up like time hadn't passed. Those among other things keep me going...
You were here for a purpose, and eventhough you are gone and you have done so much, I sometimes feel like your work isn't done. I still feel that you are still busy working on something. You have accomplished so much in such a short time - and made it look easy! You were able to build relationships that have lasted a lifetime. Many that are older are still incapable of doing this. You have taught me valuable lessons that I have applied to my own life: to love life and all that it brings, to cherish every day as if it were my last, and if I want something - to go for it! You have truly left an indelible mark on us all. And the funny thing is, you had no idea - you were just being Kendra.
I know it's wrong to question God's grand plan. But when you loose someone so dear, it's difficult not to. As I find a new norm, I find comfort in knowing that you have left a piece of you here - Zaelyn - she is truly blessed. Her very own Guardian Angel was the one that gave her life! Also, knowing that God has taken a good one to add to his force of angels. As he couldn't have chosen a better candidate.
Kendra, we may have lost you here on earth, but we have gained an angel that will watch over us all.
Rest In Peace Kendra.
You are sorely missed.
guns/ SELMA FLYNN (NONE) TO ALL KENDRA MY HEART GOS OUT TO ALL OF YOUR FAMILY. I NOW HOW YOU FEEL. PLEASE EMAIL ME AT MAMMA-FLYNN@EXCITE.COM MAY YOU REST IN PEACE SWEET ANGEL YOU ARE WITH OUR FATHER HE HAS YOU UNDER HIS WINGS.PLEASE VISIT MY SONS WEBSITE AND YOU WILL UNDERSTAND WHY I NOW HOW YOU FELL GOD BLESS YOUR FAMILY www.bobbo.memory-of.com
Another angel / Eugene Brown (great-uncle) I had to attend the sending of another angel like you; to God she was sent as you were on that day, and with LOVE and caring HE embraces you BOTH, with LOVE HE shows HIS tenderness, fly on dear angels and let LOVE guide thee both...until my time I love thee both...
I would exchange places if for that brief moment of exchange I could take a glimpse of your face feel the touch and warmth of your embrace and watch your smile brighten the way
I would exchange places if I knew it would solve the problem if I knew bringing you back would erase the pain of having you taken away
I would exchange places if I knew families would get closer if I knew bonds would be stronger
I would exchange places if I weren’t too selfish to stay in this earthly body this body of confusion longing to find Christ and break down the barriers that prevent me from truly bonding with my creator, my father
I would exchange places if I knew I would be welcomed, if I weren’t so afraid of rejection, if I weren’t so scared of isolation
If I weren’t in denial about my true obsession of how this body longs to be saved and find a home with God, if I knew I would have the strength to believe that he knows what is best and no matter what is going on in this life that he will create a way and give us strength and if we love and I mean really love he will heal us and bring us together and grant us with love not only love for God but love for self and love for others and love so we don’t grow old alone
If only I believed enough to truly believe without doubt then I would exchange places and know that I have already found my way that I have loved and been loved and that going home is his way of telling me it’s okay................this journey has grown tired..........my task is complete..........and now his gates are open for my eternal rest in the house of the Lord
If I could exchange places...................................
Your passing has given me strength to acknowledge and I mean really acknowledge my longing for a sounder, stronger foundation in Christ
~ Thanks Muff for always being you. In this life and in the next. Words can never truly express...............
Your Friend
~ Colette
Grateful....../ Colette James (FRIEND) Today I remember how much you valued family and how much your family meant to you. I never told you how I envied your close relationship to them and I never told you how grateful I was that you made me feel like family….nor did I ever say thank you…………..although I know through the silence that my appreciation was clearly understood.
Tell my grandparents (if u see them in heaven) I love them and miss them
~ Thanks MUFF
Missing you.................Colette
I Cannot Do This Alone / Colette James (FRIEND) something i stumbled across and wanted to share:
o god, early in the morning i cry to you. help me to pray and to concentrate my thoughts on you: i cannot do this alone. in me there is darkness, but with you there is light; i am lonely, but you do not leave me; i am feeble in heart, but with you there is help; i am restless, but with you there is peace. in me there is bitterness, but with you there is patience; i do not understand your ways, but you know the way for me… restore me to liberty, and enable me to live now that i may answer before you and before me. lord, whatever this day may bring, your name be praised.
dietrich bonhoeffer
Happy Mother's Day/ Rasheda Abney (Cousin) Hey Kendra I just stopped by to wish you a Happy Mother's Day!!!! Its been awhile since I wrote something on here. Wow, as days go by sometimes to me it seems so unreal that you are really gone. When your birthday came around I was sad but something inside me held me together and instead of me sheading a tear I thought about us growing up and how tight we were. You are not only my baby cousin but you were like my sister to me. When we got a little distant as we became older I missed everything about you. Your kindness, smile, understanding, unconditional love and your humor. I got it all back later on and I loved every minute of it. I cherish all our moments we had together from since we were kids up to adults. Your hard work and courage have showed me that I can be just as determined as you were. Kendra you have been a blessing in my life and I will not trade it for anything in the world. You have been a good mother to Zae during your time here with her. Even though I dont see her that much I can tell from her pictures and the talks I have with Jenn that Zaelyn is all the way you. I am sure she will continue to carry on your legacy and simply being exactly who you were. That is your mini-me and GOD has blessed us with another Kendra. I know you are proud in heaven that you got a chance to instill your values and keep your spirit within Zae. I love you and miss you so much, not a day go by that I dont think about you. :)
I just wanted to let you all know that as I was passing by, I stopped on this site and this site truly touched my heart. I tried to hold back tears but I ended up wiping them away. I too feel the pain of loosing a loved one, for I lost my 16yr old cousin Jaime Sweatman suddenly in a car accident on October 9, 2004, she too has a site on here. It has been a nightmare for our whole family, which we relive everyday. In these times we have to turn to GOD and each other for strenght to get through it all. Eventhough we will never know why GOD had to take the people that mean the most too us away HE still LOVES US ALL. Kendra truly was loved and the love you all had for her is still going on, I felt it when I got to this site. God Bless! Your Friend in CHRIST, Sharon
YOU KNOW WHAT??!! / Jennifer S. (best friends)
Looking at ALL of the postings, memorial candles lit, etc. We ALL have ONE thing in common.WE ALL LOVED, AND ADORED MUFFY, AND WERE ALL HURT BY THE TRADEGY.So, in knowing this it puzzles me why there is so much division.I haven’t spoken on this publicly before because I figured everything would work itself out, but its time, because it’s been 7 months and things still aren’t worked out!How did this tight knit family who when Muff brought me around, I absolutely adored turn into a circle of hate? Why give SATAN that much control over the situation?Something this tragic should bring families and friends together in love and peace. I love this family, and TRUST that I pray for everyone’s peace on a regular basis. In prior months, I’ve tried to be the peacemaker and help people to come together, and in that attempt I’ve become stressed because of the lack of forthcomings from various individuals. Everyone is PROUD, and feel like they don’t have to come together, because so and so is wrong, but just for a minute put the PRIDE aside if not for the sake of anyone else in the family, put it aside for Zaelyn.She is the one who has lost her mother, and will feel the loss as she grows older. However, the loss that she feels doesn’t have to be that great if she has her ENTIRE loving family around to love her, and guide her. The bible says in Proverbs 11:2, “That when pride comes then comes dishonor.” You are dishonoring God by walking in PRIDE. And in verse 16:18"Pride goes before destruction. And a haughty spirit before stumbling."Pride is destroying this family, and it needs to end. My heart goes out to everyone….Zaelyn, Courtney, Debbie, Walter, Imani, Kimberly, Derrick, ALL the Aunts and Uncles, brothers and sisters, and Grandparents, ALL the best-friends, acquaintances, associates…everyone…I love you. And I am here a phone call away, for any of you if needed, just as Muffy was there for me over the years. Muffy was the most forgiving, loving, and light hearted person I knew.Lets, let this type of spirit shower this family and circle of friends, so that blessings will pour out from the heavens over this family.
My prayers are with u all/ Janelle Bruce (no relation(best freind of Kendra's cuz)) I didn't know Kendra but her cousin, Maya is my best friend. I just wanted to let you all know that you are all in my prayers. It's a blessing to see all the love you all have for Kendra and that you all are celebrating her life. To all of her family, friends and her fiance, May God bless you and keep you and may the love and guidance of your angel shine on you.
God Bless You/ Delante Hamilton (Former Classmate at BAH) I stumbled across this website while updating my profile at the Banneker Reunion site and I have spent the last hour reading about your life, love and friends. We met when I was a senior and you were a freshman and although we were not close I do remember your wondeful smile! I will miss you and your spirit. God has truly called one of his angels home. Se you soon baby girl.
-Delante'
Young, but not without hope!/ Claudia (website visitor)
May Almighty God, Jehovah allow his Holy Spirit to be with the family and friends of Kendra Mercedes Smith. The Bible assures us that there is a wonderful hope for mankind, Kendra is in line with that. May the family draw comfort from Bible truths and knowing that others understand their loss and pain.
Sincerely,
Claudia from The Christian Congregation of Jehovah's Witnesses
Lord watch over us/ Vivian (MIDGET) McFadden (Special) Things seem so funny, I remember Muff, from the Terrace. My God, she was so beautiful. Muff always had a smile on her face, she would follow behind my brother Anthony, like he was meant for her. Although I am a few years older than her, I remember all the times we had over my god mother Gloria's house(her great aunt). I really feel like I missed out on alot. I moved out and tried to find myself at the age of sixteen ,moved out of state. Muff you acomplished so much , that I feel blessed to have known you from the beginning. Last year, when I was pregnant, Gloria told me that you where too, I was excited, until the lost of my son, he being stillborn, born premature at five and a half months, and just looking at your pics at the shower, reminds me that the Lord watches over us, although I held my Caleb in my arms after his birth, if you happen to see him in heaven, please, please , give him a hug, kiss and shower him with all the love that shines through you,For me. Love ya..................Vee
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